


The words in my head (won't spring from my lips)

by Blackwidowislyfe



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, Crying, F/F, F/M, I cannot tag, Like the words can come out but she's just so paralyzed with fear she can't get them out, M/M, Multi, Muteness, Natasha Feels, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, Natasha has social anxiety, Selectively mute, Social Anxiety, The author has anxiety, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony has anxiety, kind of, mommy kink?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 09:24:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6417934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackwidowislyfe/pseuds/Blackwidowislyfe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AKA Five times Natasha's anxiety makes her unable to speak, and the one time Tony's anxiety makes him unable to speak! :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	The words in my head (won't spring from my lips)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. So I had a shit day, mostly because of my anxiety. I should probably be dealing with it in a better way than this but this is how I chose to do so. 
> 
> WARNINGS: Anxiety, duh. I based most of it off of how it feels for me, so if it's not the same for you, that's cool. But be aware and be... gentle? Sensitive? I can't think of the right words. Also I think this started out trying to be part of the little 'venger verse but then didn't end up that way. Also not beta'd or like edited at all? Just be gentle and enjoy guys.

1.

She hated it. It was honestly getting out of hand. Though no one knew. Well, her therapist did, because she saw straight through Natasha. Natasha wanted to be that awesome one day.

 

But today was not that day. She couldn't even get herself to talk today, and maybe that was a good thing or a bad thing. Unfortunately Clint was oblivious, and was babbling on and on and ON and honestly it was just too much and maybe that's why she burst into tears. He tried to hug her but she scurried back and he frowned. "Did I do something wrong?" He asked. She tried to get the words out. Honest she did. But they wouldn't come. Clint didn't talk to her the rest of the day and she spent the rest of it hiding in her room. At least until Phil came with a written apology from Clint.

 

* * * *

 

Things got easier as she spent more time at SHIELD. And on the bad days, it was easy to pass it off as being observant, as long as Clint was there. And he slowly became aware of the signs she needed space, and to not have to use her words as much. And sometimes she got no warning and then he would watch her back. He would speak for her. They learned sign language for the hell of it, and that helped too.

 

 

2.

After the trainwreck that was Stark Expo, her words went away again. Tony invited her over but she couldn't get even the tiny little yes to come out of her mouth. So she just nodded. Tony smirked, and started babbling and carrying on and Pepper rolled her eyes and then it was like that first day with Clint all over again and she just burst into tears. Pepper looked at Tony, who nodded. 

 

"Tasha? Are you feeling overwhelmed?" Pepper asked gently. The red-head nodded, and Tony handed her one of the softest blankets ever.

 

"Sorry. I should have known better. I get that way too sometimes," He explained. "Except instead of not talking I stutter. Pepper makes it better though."

 

Pepper smiled. "Do you want some space?" She asked. Natasha shook her head. She didn't want to be alone. She got extra cuddles that night, from both of them.

 

 

3.

When they finished eating shwarma, her words went away again. Seriously, timing could not have been worse. Steve kept trying to ask her things, but Tony or Clint kept answering for her. She hated that he kept looking at her weird, but what was worse was how Bruce kept giving her that knowing glance. When they finally got back to Tony's place, she all but burst into tears again. She managed to make it to Tony's room before it happened though. He held her close, and he was the only one allowed to do so when she was like this. 

 

"Do you know why they went away again?" Tony asked. Natasha shook her head against his shoulder. She never did. Tony held her that night, and she didn't want him to ever let her go.

 

* * * *

 

"Did I do something, Romanov?" Steve asked her the next morning. Her words were kind of back, but not really. So she shook her head. "Then why won't you talk to me?"

 

Natasha looked at Tony, begging him to save her with her eyes. 

 

"It's called social anxiety," Tony said. "It makes it kind of impossible for her to talk sometimes."

 

Steve gave her a confused look. "But... you've been able to talk before."

 

"It's not an all the time thing. It just happens. When you're scared of messing up or looking stupid or shit happens," Tony sighed.

 

"Language," Steve muttered, making Natasha giggle. That seemed to make things better.

 

 

4.

DC. Shit. She had to leave her weird relationship with Pepper and Tony behind in exchange for settling Steve in. And then, right as the got on the plane, her words went away. And she didn't have anything soft or a buffer or a translator and no no no no NO and then she started crying and to her complete surprise, Steve pulled out a fuzzy quilt square. Natasha looked up at him in utter confusion. "Clint and Tony said soft things help sometimes," He said gently. She took it, and rubbed it against her cheek. It didn't make the words come back faster, but it helped settle her down a little.

 

* * * *

 

She didn't really want to be alone but she wasn't sure Steve completely understood either, He still insisted that she come over. Her words had started to come back but they were stuck in her throat and maybe this is what it felt like for Tony, when he couldn't speak either. One time, after the expo but before New York, they had both lost their words and Pepper held Natasha and Natasha held Tony and he tried to babble on but it sounded more like someone trying to sound out words and it must have been much worse for him.

 

Still. Steve. He was quiet, and he gave her space. He made macaroni and cheese and bacon and they ate and watched something on Steve's list of things to catch up on. It was animated, and somewhere in the middle of that, she finally was able to say, "This is really good." 

 

Steve beamed, and maybe it was because she was finally able to talk, but all he said was, "Glad you like it."

 

 

5.

Sam Wilson. Veteran. Falcon. Crazy-ass bird brain. Natasha really needed to make some friends who tried (And sometimes succeed) at flying or pretend to be birds. Then again, Sam Wilson was both, and somewhere in the middle of a building BLOWING UP ON TOP OF THEM and getting to his apartment, her words got lost again. Not that it was any surprise, but still. Made introductions kind of hard. Sam seemed to get it though. Somehow she managed to get through that conversation on the bed, but after that it all seemed to go away. She passed out after they made a plan, but when she woke up she heard them talking.

 

"Nah dude. I get it. Seen people who come in and can't talk, stutter, cry at the drop of a hat," Sam said. "Ain't nothing I can't handle."

 

"I worry about her though," Steve sighed. "I tried to do what Tony and Clint said, but..."

 

"That's all you can do," Sam said. "She'll get past it on her own. In the meantime, we just have to help her how we can." That's when she knew, she could trust him with her life.

 

 

+1.

Tony hated when his words went away. He hated it even more when it was in front of people. And he absolutely despised it when it happened for seemingly no reason. And sometimes they would be gone for weeks and months at a time. This was clearly one of those times. He barely left the lab, but from what Bruce said, he was just... hiding. Natasha sighed, and punched in her override code. 

 

"Tony," She said firmly.

 

"W-w-w-what?" He said, trying to snap but failing with the stutter.

 

"You do realize there is a world outside the lab, right?" She asked. She got flipped off for her troubles. Natasha sighed and sat beside him. "No one really cares. You know that right? And if they do, I'll hurt them. Put them in ICU even. You did that for me." Tony looked at her, eyes shiny with emotion. "You thought I forgot? Hell no."

 

"b-b-b-b-b-but.... h-he deserved i-i-it. A-a-a-assw-w-wipe laughed a-a-at you f-f-f-f-f-f-f"

 

"Shh," Natasha said. "I couldn't help it. And neither can you. If five guys can handle me going mute sometimes, I think we can handle an adorable little stutter." 

 

Tony blushed. "P-p-p-promise?"

 

"If they can't, I think there's an empty bed waiting in SHIELD medical," Natasha said, kissing him softly. "Besides, Pepper and I miss you in bed. Not as warm without our precious boy."

 

Tony smiled, and took her hand. All in all, Tony got his words back a lot faster than normal. Mostly because his friends helped him. He was grateful. And he knew when the time came, they would return the favor for Natasha. It's just how they worked.

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo yeah. Comments are more than welcome. I literally couldn't hold that in anymore. Love you and I'll see you next time!


End file.
